This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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