My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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