I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
