It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
