I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
