I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
