I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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