Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
