I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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