my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
