Your tits are I can't wait for
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
