i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
