no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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