Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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