Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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