is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
