so that wasnt chicken after all
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
