Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
