I look better un-naked...
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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