Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
