it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
found the other keg... it's in the tree
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
