Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
