i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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