I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
