I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize