The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize