no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
