so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
