So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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