Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
