I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
