Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
