The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize