i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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