did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
The Olympian is in my bed
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
