3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
