Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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