i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
