she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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