I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I am puke
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Randomize
