I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
