But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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