i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
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