Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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