i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize