And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize