you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
