Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize