Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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