Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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