Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
