He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
