Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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