No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
