you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
