Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
