I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
