SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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