I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
