if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
