also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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