I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
