My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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