Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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