HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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