her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
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