I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
