my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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